How I Spent My Thursday, and Other Useless Information

My daughter phoned today and gave me a pep talk about keeping up with this inane blogging endeavor. Consider me bucked...  For now, anyway.

Let me start again.

Dear Devoted Reader  (You know who you are!):
      I'm sure you've been waiting with baited breath to hear all about my activities today.
      I'm embarrassed to report that I have, once again, frittered my day away on frivolous pursuits:  To wit, I have been making clothing for wine bottles. Yes. Clothes for wine bottles. (Or if alcohol consumption offends you, you may pretend I have been making them for sparkling cider bottles.)
      Here is how it all started.  I was rummaging in my pattern drawer, when I found this thrift shop item I'd acquired some time or other:

What is it, you ask?  Well, it's what well-dressed wine bottles were wearing back in the days when women apparently had way too much time on their hands. Nowadays, it's called a "Wine Cozy", or so I learned on Etsy when I tried to see if anyone else was making these.
     Unbelievable as it may seem, no one was selling little butler costumes for wine bottles. Now, I did see some homey aprons for dish detergent, but nothing else really resembling bottle clothes. Clearly, it's a seller's market.
    Anyway, I did some fooling about and came up with my own version:

Mine is the one on the bottom, with the fetching taffeta plaid bow tie and no fake pockets.  (Actually, I wanted to add fake pockets, but I didn't have any white embroidery floss.) And here it is, being modeled:

I was on a roll.  So I went on and made...

And then I fooled around and tried making girl waitress wine bottle clothes:

This was not a raving success.  But I intend to work on it.  It's going to be a daunting task, dressing all the world's nudist wine bottles.  But somebody has to do it.